Yesterday was the Japanese Setsubun holiday. This day marks the last day of winter. I spent the evening with Kacho to experience the Japanese culture. Well, actually I just wanted to have hang out with him since we hadn't hung out in awhile, but it turned out to be a good day to do it.

To celebrate Setsubun Japanese people throw dried soy beans out the entrance(s) of their home and shout "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" Which means "Out with the devils! In with the good luck!" Sometimes someone dresses up as a devil so the kids can throw beans at him and drive him away. After the devils have been driven from the house to allow good luck for the coming year, in order to further your good luck, you are supposed to eat as many soy beans as you are years old. 28 isn't a particularly unbearable number if you have a cold beer handy to wash it down, but in the case of Kacho he wasn't really in the mood to stuff 50+ beans down his throat. :)

Kacho and I went to sushi and talked about a lot of stuff, afterwards we went back to his place and his wife cooked a mean Curry for me. It was quite delicious. He said that he wished he had put me in charge of both elementary schools, and told me I should stay another year. He also told me he wished he could meet my parents, but since his English is no good at all it probably wouldn't be much of a conversation even if he did. He also told me how Japan worked so hard when he was young because they wanted to live the dream that they saw on Bewitched. Living in a big house, with a fridge, and a TV, and vacuum. Now of course many Japanese people have that, except maybe the big house part, but in the countryside that isn't all that rare either. But I guess that is interesting, 'cause they admired us and wanted to be like us... but now I wonder what will happen in the coming generations.. Do people still admire us like they used to? Does anyone want to be like us, or do they see it as if they have reached/surpassed that point they wanted. Does that mean their work ethic will drop?

Anyway, I came home and passed out quickly last night from the sake that Kacho eventually coaxed me to drink. When I woke up and looked out the window I was blown away to see everything covered in white! It was snow! Maybe it was a very thin layer of snow... but it was still the first snow I have ever seen stick to the ground in Mutsuzawa. I got really excited, and when I got to school I was saying to all the kids, "Look! It's snow outside!!" None of them seemed really interested... which seemed odd to me, but I guess maybe they don't have snow days like we do in Oregon. Anyway, for some reason, just looking at the snow made me so happy. Maybe I was happy to have had that experience here, maybe it was just because it was so unexpected... I dunno, but that put me in a good mood for the rest of the day.

In the morning I taught Raiya, who is a student in the special education class, and we reenacted driving devils away by throwing beans at each other. He is one of my favorite students too... I mean I have like 895437 favorite students, of course, but he is really interesting. His favorite thing to do is yard work. Today when the teacher said "next we are going to do art class" he complained "nooooo! I want to do yard work!" Isn't that the craziest thing you have ever heard from a middle schooler? :) But anyway... After lunch I played Daifu and Baba-nuki with the first graders. These are Japanese card games and they are a lot of fun. Daifu is like 13, but with a few different rules. I'll teach it to you guys when I come back some day.

Yeah, and about coming back some day... everyone wants to know when I am coming back... It is true I want to come back, and every time I read facebook or the channel it makes me think of all the things I want to do with you guys there... Status updates like "eating pizza"... PIZZA? Like REAL pizza?! Man I would kill for a real delivery style pizza. :) "watching a movie at the bagdad" ... really? a movie in English? with Portland beer? man that sounds good... But of course there are things that I love about living here too, and as the days remaining here grow fewer, I feel more and more attached and scared to give up all these wonderful things I have here... but that is kind of how I felt last year as well... Then during the remainder of the year I missed America again... I guess the more I think about it, I can certainly be happy on either side of the ocean. Being happy is more about the way you look at the world than anything else. When I look at this world here as something I only have two months left to experience, suddenly everything seems so much more beautiful than it was before. When I think about all the things in America that I can't have now, it makes me want them back so badly, yet when I had them I didn't appreciate them as much as I should have...

In a sort of morbid way, it seems like maybe life can be more enjoyed when you are aware of the transience of it all... Maybe that is why we aren't immortal. Maybe immortality would make things less significant than they are in this insignificant world. It is impermanence that makes today important, and the understanding of that which gives birth to appreciation.

There, I hope that sounded super deep. I'll try to put new pictures up soon, sorry I haven't updated the gallery in awhile. Love you all, and I will let you know when I know for sure when (if) I am coming home.

When watching Japanese variety TV shows I often hear many very familiar songs. I'm not sure how they get decided, but as background music they will play short clips of everything from an old anime (Card Captor Sakura) to popular music to famous (The Beatles) movie themes (Back to the Future). Today I heard the theme from Star Trek: The Next Generation. It makes me wonder how many Japanese people know the origin of things like this? If American's heard that theme on an episode of Survivor I think most of them with think it is pretty strange. "Why the heck are they playing the Star Trek theme?" So I guess my question is, does the average Japanese person just not have that association so it doesn't matter what the song is? Or do they have the association but they are used to random unrelated music being played on TV shows?

Also, looking back at my comments about Bounenkai parties and after my experience at several more last year, I wanted to make a correction to my statement about them being crazy... It seems that while some of them are crazy parties with costumes and games, it really depends. I guess it as a lot to do with who plans the party and the atmosphere of your company (principal). :) But still, when they DO party hard, Japanese are quite the force to reckon with.

I went shopping in Mobara today. It has been quite awhile since I have done that... I was really surprised by all the changes. In Asumo, the local "shopping mall", many of the stores had changed, and one of the large department stores was completely empty except for a few left over "going out of business sale" items. When I drove down the street to go to the huge video/book/game store I was blown away to find that it was completely empty! Other stores I went to had completely arranged their insides, and when I thought back to how things looked when I first came here two years ago it was really quite mysteriously strange. Yet in several years if I come back to Mutsuzawa to visit all my friends things will probably have gone through many more big transformations.

I do want to come back and visit too... I was thinking about that today. Even if I go home to the US... I feel like, at least now, that this town and these people are a whole 'nother part of my life. To leave and never see them again seems really said... Especially the kids... I want to see what they become! -sigh- But after I return home, perhaps I will end up settling down and America becoming my primary life... might leave me to forget the life I left behind here... That would be quite sad... but in some ways it seems almost inevitable... Maybe in 5 or 10 years there will be very little for me to come back and see here anyway... the kids will be gone, the sights I recognize will have changed, the ALTs I know and the other teachers will probably be gone... but then, I guess here in town many people will probably still be around. Kacho and Suzuki probably won't ever leave. The Kuga's and Miyahara, Kaoru and the master at Vino. I guess in a small town like this, even if things change a lot, the people probably don't change that much... Miyahara said he is going to build a house in my neighborhood... I'd like to come back and see it some day... Heck, when I get old, maybe I could even come here to retire... haha.. it's nice to think about... It would be really peaceful... but then again I might have forgotten all my Japanese by then... :(

Lately I have been thinking about making decisions. Obviously 'cause I have to make some pretty big ones right now... We always think about decisions like these as which one will have the best outcome, because we naturally want to pick the best outcome for our futures... but it is near impossible to know what the results of any decision will be because each on can lead to many possible outcomes. In a way, I guess making any single decision doesn't ultimately mean a better or worse outcome, just a different one. And ultimately whether that outcome is good or not depends on how we ourselves view it or perhaps more importantly what we do with it. Maybe this all seems pretty vague... but I guess what I have been thinking about is, maybe it doesn't matter so much what I decide right now. If I stayed in Japan or if I came home, both options have potential for good things and bad things, many of which are probably more out of my control than I would like to accept.

I've learned a lot over these past two years in Japan. Not just Japanese, or about Japanese culture, but also about the world and about myself... While I can't say for sure I feel 100% done with my journey of self-discovery (still need to try that minoj et trois) at the very least I know that I have grown (or perhaps I should say changed) over these last 2 years.

That being said... If anyone has any leads on a well paying job starting in late April, please let me know. :) I'm going to be mu-shoku 無職 when I get back...

God, I'm going to miss a lot of things about Japan... Compared to Alan's view when he came home that Japan "no longer has power over him"... I don't feel that way at all right now... but maybe that's because I can't bring a living breathing part of my life in Japan back with me... :)

So! My first Christmas and New Years in Japan! I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas night drinking. 'cause what else was I gunna do? I have no family to visit here, and even if I went to someone else's family's house, they don't do anything to celebrate except eat cake and maybe fried chicken.

In fact, I was king of surprised, because everyone else had to work on Christmas. I am already on winter break from classes, and I guess it is obvious that they would have work, but it just caught me off guard...

New Years Eve was also a bit of a let down in terms of partying. People don't make that big of a deal out of it I guess... Maybe it is a bigger deal in places with more young people like Shibuya... but here in the Inaka where everyone has experience New Years Eve a good 30 or 40 times in their life already, it just doesn't seem to matter much to them.

However, New Years Day and the subsequent several days are holidays. During that time people visit their family, they each special New Years Food, like boiled vegetables and soba noodles, mochi (pounded, sricky rice cakes), etc. They don't play board games or cards like we do in our family...

For me, I went to Kacho's house on New Years Day. He is kind of the closest thing I have to family here. He really takes care of me like I was his own family. Maa, so does Suzuki, but it's a little bit different feeling. Anyway, Kacho fed me soba, and we drank together while watching the popular New Years television programs. I also, thanks to Karen, brought some Hickory Farms with me to his house and shared with him my own family tradition. We ate cheese and sausage on crackers, and he commented about how much better American cheese is compared to the shiso cheese that he had at his house. (it really was pretty gross). I tried to also share our tradition of playing cards with him, but he wasn't interested in that. :) But I kind of expected as much. Kacho and Suzuki... Well maybe all older Japanese people, they don't have interest in playing games like that really... (except maybe golf) but darts, shuffle board, cards... Japanese people just like to drink their shochu and sit around... not like in America where people do stuff while drinking. Some of the young Japanese people go to billiards bars I suppose... but it isn't something they have a long tradition of I guess.

So that brings me to now... I don't have much to do, so I am mostly sitting around me house, enjoying the kotatsu and kerosene heater (which is very cost effective btw). I feel like I am wasting my time around in the house though... So today, I bought Bayonetta today on a whim. At least that will keep me entertained while I waste my time. :) Only five days until I turn another... I wish I could have another great birthday...

To the Japanese, Christmas is a day to eat shortcake at home with the family, or to go on a romantic date with your romantic interest. In some families children get presents from Santa, but people don't give presents to each other (unless it is their lover).

Last year I got the kids in one of my classes to do a White Elephant gift exchange. I told them not to give gifts worth more than 500 yen. That is like $5. Most people gave pencils and erasers and notebooks which turned out to be the most popular gifts... But this year, when I wanted to do something like that again I was told that I couldn't because some of the parents complained last year. They didn't complain because 500 yen was too much, they complained because apparently some kids gave really nice gifts and other kids gave not so good of gifts. So kids who worked hard on their gifts but didn't get something of equal quality back were apparently bummed. ... BOO HOO. That's Christmas, and that is a lesson everyone should learn in life. Just because you give an awesome gift, doesn't mean that you are going to get an awesome one back, and furthermore you shouldn't expect one! 'cause although we often forget, even I do sometimes, the point of Christmas is not to GET gifts. It's to GIVE gifts. It's to make OTHER people happy, not to make yourself happy. What a joke. :(

Even though people don't buy presents for everyone in their family here, December is still a big business season. People buy "oseibo" gifts for the people they are indebted to. It is a sort of obligatory gift you buy for your boss, teacher, doctor or other person who has taken care of you during the year. These gifts range from $30-$200 in price.

In addition to these gifts, every company/department/school also has an end of year "Forget the year party" known as "bounenkai". These are drinking parties much like other company events during the year except that in my experience these ones are the most wild. Because the idea is to "forget the year" the people who plan the parties plan them to include various embarrassing games or activities. This can involve people dressing up in silly costumes, or doing funny dances. While these types of strange activities are not limited to the bounenkai parties... I think they are more prevalent there. Since there are so many of these parties the restaurant business is really busy during all of December. I didn't expect it to start so soon, but I went to a restaurant for dinner last night and there was no place to park at all. People literally had parked in front of other cars in the parking lot.

This year I have been invited to 4 different bounenkai events. That is pretty cool, except that two of them were on the same night so I had to choose one, and they all cost a lot of money to go to. So even though Japanese people don't spend a lot of money of Christmas gifts or decorations, they spend a lot of money on end of year parties and gifts to their bosses. I guess that is just a difference in values.